Big Changes

So… Big changes for Sarah. As many of you know (or not depending on when we last spoke) I have been putting a lot of thought into whether or not medical school is the right place for me. For the past 6-7 months I have been meeting weekly with a psychiatrist to work through some of the issues that I have been having. He was a lot of help and over the past month things became much easier.

I have been forced to asked myself, "Why did I go into medical school?" My conclusion? I did it because I thought it was expected of me. For pretty much my entire life I have said that I want to be a doctor. I never really stopped to think, why? Now that I have done that I see that I thought people would be disappointed in me. This was all in my head. I was "mind reading" as the professionals call it. I now understand that people don't care what I do and that I shouldn't care what people think. I need to do what is going to make me happy. That is all that really matters in the end. In undergrad, I was happy. Classes were hard but I was happy with what I was doing. In med school, I haven't been happy. I kept on telling myself that it will get better and eventually I will like it but that hasn't happened.

Medicine isn't making me happy so I finally decided that I need to find something else to do with my life. I am in the process of withdrawing from medical school at the moment. I am also trying to find a job. I am looking into medical writing so that I can use what I have learned over the past 2.5 years. If you have any leads, or any connections, hook me up! I am bored and I need a job!

Anyway, that is what is going on in my life. No more medical school for me. I may go back and get a PhD or MS though so I will have a higher degree.... If you have any questions feel free to ask me. I don't really want to post everything here. I am still not sure I want all my emotions open to the public.

Pavlov was right

So Ivan Pavlov was a pretty sharp guy. For those of you who don't know, Pavlov won the Nobel Prize in 1904 for his studies in how the digestive system works. He is more well known to the general public though for his work with, what is now known as, Pavlov's Dog. Basically Pavlov demonstrated classical conditioning.

What is classical conditioning? (I swear, I have a reason for writing this)

• Dog sees food--> Dog salivates (unconditioned response)
• Dog sees food (unconditioned stimulus) + ring bell (conditioned stimulus)--> Dog salivates
• Dog hears bell ring (conditioned stimulus)--> Dog salivates (conditioned response)

Why did I waste your time with this? Well, the other day I was in a lecture and someone's beeper went off. It was the same beeper tone that I used when I was on surgery. Upon hearing the beeper go off my heart started to race and I thought... that's the sound I used to hear when I was called down to the trauma bay to help with a trauma call...meant no sleep for Sarah. I was actually waiting for the "Code Yellow, Trauma team to the ER" to go off over the loud speaker. So I can relate my conditioned response to that off the puppy.

• Sarah gets a trauma call-->Sarah's heart starts racing (unconditioned response)
• Sarah gets a trauma call (unconditioned stimulus) + specific beeper tone (conditioned stimulus)-->Sarah's heart starts racing
• Sarah hears specific beeper tone (conditioned stimulus)--> Sarah's heart starts racing (conditioned response)

So that is my experience with classical conditioning. Want to have some fun with it yourself? Play this game