Big Changes

So… Big changes for Sarah. As many of you know (or not depending on when we last spoke) I have been putting a lot of thought into whether or not medical school is the right place for me. For the past 6-7 months I have been meeting weekly with a psychiatrist to work through some of the issues that I have been having. He was a lot of help and over the past month things became much easier.

I have been forced to asked myself, "Why did I go into medical school?" My conclusion? I did it because I thought it was expected of me. For pretty much my entire life I have said that I want to be a doctor. I never really stopped to think, why? Now that I have done that I see that I thought people would be disappointed in me. This was all in my head. I was "mind reading" as the professionals call it. I now understand that people don't care what I do and that I shouldn't care what people think. I need to do what is going to make me happy. That is all that really matters in the end. In undergrad, I was happy. Classes were hard but I was happy with what I was doing. In med school, I haven't been happy. I kept on telling myself that it will get better and eventually I will like it but that hasn't happened.

Medicine isn't making me happy so I finally decided that I need to find something else to do with my life. I am in the process of withdrawing from medical school at the moment. I am also trying to find a job. I am looking into medical writing so that I can use what I have learned over the past 2.5 years. If you have any leads, or any connections, hook me up! I am bored and I need a job!

Anyway, that is what is going on in my life. No more medical school for me. I may go back and get a PhD or MS though so I will have a higher degree.... If you have any questions feel free to ask me. I don't really want to post everything here. I am still not sure I want all my emotions open to the public.